Remembering Sunday
by Fran27298
Summary: A Leddi one-shot. I almost cried writing this so...you have been warned. Mostly Eddi's thoughts and feelings.


**Hi! So, I'm delighted that everyone's enjoying 'robot heart'! This idea has been in my head for a while now, so I thought I'd give it a go! Comment please! Let me know if you'd like more one-shots. This includes some lyrics from the song 'Remembering Sunday' by All Time Low, because I thought it **_**could**_** work.**

"You're drunk, and I want you to leave, now."

Eddi forced herself into consciousness and lifted her head from the table. She became aware of a tall figure, looming over her. It, of course, was the bartender. That was obvious, as there was no one else in the bar. She blinked in the shocking light, then reluctantly rose from her seat and stumbled towards the exit.

He was right, she was drunk. Although she didn't feel like she'd had enough alcohol. No matter how much she drank, she didn't think she would ever wash away the pain in her chest. The pain that he caused.

She staggered through the door of her flat. It took intense concentration to fit the key into the lock. She felt slightly safer in her flat, where no one could see her. Safe enough to show her emotions, and let the tears stream down her cheeks.

He sat in his caravan, a flask of coffee in his hand. He was teetotal. He couldn't drink away his pain. Luc sat alone, cross legged on his bed, in some caravan site on north Yorkshire. It wasn't where he wanted to be. He knew that now. He stretched across his bed and turned on his radio, to let the music distract him from reality.

She tripped, drunkenly towards her bathroom, stopping to remove her trademark leather jacket and bag. Frustrated, she walked to her table, and thumped her fist at the small radio. Maybe, she could drown out her sadness with noise. The radio buzzed and eventually a song came on, she turned the volume right up. Eddi wandered into her bathroom, and stepped into her shower, fully clothed. She punched the shower with her small fists, making the freezing water pour down her. Her jeans stuck to her skin, uncomfortably, and her grey t-shirt hung limply from her shoulders. She lifted her head to let the water hit her face. As she adjusted to the noise of the water, she began to hear the radio again.

_I'm not coming back, I've done something so terrible, terrified to speak, but you'd expect that from me…_

Luc heard the song on the radio, and sighed. Was he returning to Holby general? Could he face that? Could her face her after what he'd done. He couldn't even speak to her. Couldn't even drop her a text to say he was okay. He listened in dismay as the song lyrics described his situation.

_I'm mixed up, I'll be blunt, now the rain is just washing you out of my hair, and out of my mind…_

Eddi tried in vain to let the water do that. Wash him out of her hair. Out of her mind. After he'd caused so much pain, she wondered why she wasn't angrier at him. She'd never been in love. She didn't know what it felt like.

_Keeping an eye on the world. So many thousands of feet off the ground…_

She remembered when they were together. On the day when he'd left. They'd argued on the roof, before he'd silenced her by kissing her, passionately. On the roof where they'd met. So many thousands of feet off the ground. So high up, where they'd occasionally go to relax, to breathe in the fresh air. Where they felt they could control their emotions. Because if you jumped, you would die. No doubt about it. If not, you'd live. The one moment when life was truly in your hands. The adrenaline rush you got by standing so close to the edge, and potentially in so much danger, did give you a sense of control. Eddi enjoyed going there to feel those emotions. Freedom. Freedom to be in control. Keeping an eye on the world.

_I'm over you now; I'm at home in the clouds, towering over your head._

Ha. She wasn't over him. She could do her best to make him think she was. Eddi stepped out of the shower, feeling more tranquil. She peeled off her soggy jeans, and pulled her damp t-shirt over her head. She strolled into her living room in her underwear, and picked up the book he'd given her. Well, left for her. She walked to the other side of her flat, and pulled open the window. Without bothering to check for cars, or people, she thrust her hands out the window, holding the book above the pavement. She let go. She watched as the book fell past the windows of the rooms below her's. It hit the pavement with a satisfying thud. She felt more in control. She'd gained back a small about of power over her life. She was a bigger person than him. Emotionally. She could let go of her past, and whatever had happened in it. Yes. Luc Hemingway was in her past. A memory etched on her brain for eternity, no doubt. But she'd move on now. Yes, she was a bigger, better, stronger person. Towering over his head.

Right, now to move on with her life. Be normal again. What do normal people do? Watch the telly. Make themselves feel better by laughing at other people's pathetic existences. She collapsed onto her sofa, still only wearing underwear. She picked up the television remove and switched the TV on, chuckling to herself. Ah, the news was on. Unusual. It was something, though. It could distract her from her tragic life. No, her tragic _past._ She stared blankly at the TV. Until the headline caught her eye.

_"Caravan park explosion update: 110 confirmed dead."_

Oh. It was nothing. She laughed, funny how the word caravan caught her eye. Nothing important. Nevertheless, she turned the volume up.

"…_including a young doctor, who died saving another family's lives."_

Okay, that was bizarre. Bizarre enough to cause Eddi to drop the TV remote. She tried to focus on what the report was saying.

"…_to search the body for identification."_

Alright. She sat right on the edge of the sofa. There was a tense pause whilst the woman presenting the news waited to hear from the man on location at the caravan site. The presenter nodded, and began speaking again.

"_Thanks to identification found on the man's body, we can confirm that his name was Luc Hemingway…"_

That was all Eddi heard.

"No." She murmured in disbelief.

She slid off the sofa, and sat up on the floor, letting tears roll down her face once again. She thought about the fact that she'd spent the evening trying to wash him out of her mind. She'd thrown that book out of her window. How the words in the song had a completely different meaning, now.

Eddi no longer felt like she'd regained any power over her own life. She had a feeling she'd forever be defined by what happened.

_That's Eddi Mckee. She's a drunk. Not been the same since her ex died._

She stumbled into her bedroom and curled up on the bed. It was soft, but she found she'd much rather be lying on the uncomfortable wooden caravan bed. With Luc. But he was gone. He wasn't coming back. He was at home in the clouds.

_I'm not coming back_

_I've done something so terrible,_

_I'm terrified to speak_

_But you'd expect that from me._

_I'm mixed up,_

_I'll be blunt_

_Now the rain is just washing you out of my hair_

_And out of my mind,_

_Keeping an eye on the world_

_So many thousands of feet off the ground_

_I'm over you now,_

_I'm at home in the clouds_

_Towering over your head…_

_Well I guess I'll go home now_

_I guess I'll go home now_

_I guess I'll go home now_

_I guess I'll go home._

**I hope you all enjoyed that! It was a lot longer than I thought it would be! Please comment! **


End file.
